This may be the least romantic break up in history. When your child trades you in for a dorm room. There will never be a break up quite like this with hurtful statements and grieving the little cherubs they use to be. For example some of the comments you may hear or if you have some good ones please share.
I am never coming back ( Really does the dorm food and house you over the holidays? Will your meal plan ( we are paying for) cover 365 days a year.
I do not say this statement due to it may be perceived as me poking the bear.
That is amazing that you can live 365 days a year in a closet with communal showers and sharing space with another person when you have never shared a room or eaten anything but name brand organic food.
I hold back this snark.
No one wants to live here, it’s terrible.
What? The air condition, heat, refrigerator filled with your favorites, your favorite meals being prepared, sharing a washer and dryer with only 3 other people you know, large living spaces you do not share, your own bathroom or bathroom you share with one of other person, a kitchen with a dishwasher, stove, fridge you filled with ingredients.
Correct these living conditions are deplorable how have you survived the last 18 years.
I hold back this feedback.
You are so annoying and then the body language eye rolls, grunts, one word answers constantly feeling as the parent you are the most annoying human in the world. Plus we are constantly asking questions bc they are not talking to us. This creates a pattern of them constantly being annoyed and getting the side eye.
If this sounds familiar they are not becoming monsters they are fledgling. Badly, loudly, at full volume. This is the podcast where we take your teenager’s worst behavior and turn it into a TED Talk about evolutionary biology. They are right on developmental targets and doing what they need to do to minimize the grief of transitioning out of childhood into quasi adulthood, cutting the apron strings and leaving their safety zone. Most won’t admit but they are grieving and scared.
