Do you have shame about how you may feel about things, how you respond to your environment, and how you respond that is not congruent with your values?
This is the client that comes in and usually has extreme guilt about how they are feeling about their reactions that they feel are not congruent with their identity. This could be a person that fantasizes about running away and disconnecting from their children or spouse even though things are going well. Exploring the feeling they are experiencing when they want to go into flight can be helpful then exploring when they have felt that way in the past. Many times this is due to trauma they have experienced. Everyone experiences life differently and what one person may find traumatic another person does not. It is important to not minimize an experience that causes someone trauma. This can range from a peer experience on the playground that some kids shook off and another where the child hung onto it and panics in social situations. This can also apply to phyical/sexual abuse and how a person perceives or reacts to it. It is important to not assume there was trauma if the person is not viewing it as trauma. We look at past situations and see if there is a connection to how they are responding now. It is very effective for clients when they make this connection. It can help them not feel guilt and shame for the way they feel or think and work can begin to change the reactions.
